It's sad that one of the best Superbowls in recent history had to be upstaged by something completely mindless and idiotic, but such is the case with last night's event. In case you've been under a rock for the past 24 hours, Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake performed a flirty, bump and grind version of Timberlake's "Rock Your Body" during halftime. At the end of the song, Mr. Timberlake proceeded to rip off a presumably tearaway portion of Ms. Jackson's bodice, thus exposing her right breast to about a gazillion people around the world. Immediately, stage lights went black and network coverage quickly went to something else. But it was too late--the damage had been done.
The following is a statement from MTV, who produced the halftime show:
"The tearing of Janet Jackson's costume was unrehearsed, unplanned, completely unintentional and was inconsistent with assurances we had about the content of the performance,"
Timberlake himself went on to say:
"I'm sorry if anyone was offended by the wardrobe malfunction during the halftime performance of the Super Bowl," Timberlake said. "It was not intentional and is regrettable."
Dear God. Give me a friggin' break. Wardrobe malfunction? Malfunction my ass. What exactly was supposed to happen when he did that? Was her breast supposed to glow magically and obscure nudity? Was some other secret layer of clothing supposed to pop out? Please! Anyone who thinks this wasn't intentional is just plain stupid. We ALL KNOW it was, and we all know what was going in here: It's a multileveled, disgusting attempt by several media venues to increase viewership, and consumer sales.
First of all, lets look at the Superbowl itself. Does the phrase "anything for ratings" mean anything to you? Let's face it, you probably don't watch the Superbowl halftime show, and if you do, you're probably not a football fan. Both the NFL and CBS realize this, and they were damn well going to do seomthing about it. After yesterday's stupidity, you KNOW someone, somewhere who never watched the halftime show before is definitely going to watch it next year. This is sad in and of itself, but it gets worse.
"Oh dear, Justin--I can't believe this tear-away covering 'malfunctioned,' allowing my bejeweled, camera-ready nipple to be exposed!"
Who do you think is airing the Grammys next week? You guessed it: CBS. Does anyone still watch Grammys? No. Will anyone watch them this time? You're damn right. CBS is well aware of all of this. This peep show was planned to be an appetizer for the Grammys, and it worked exactly as the network planned. Everyone and their brother will be watching this normally ineffectual awards show to see just how CBS can out-do themselves, and what wacky nudity-themed content will occur. Bravo!
The third level of this boneheaded move applies to Janet (Ms. Jackson if you're nasty). Where's her career right now? Middling at best. One would venture to guess that she may have a new album coming out sometime within the next 365 days. Think she's looking to increase those future (and past) album sales? You betcha! Think she was successful? You double betcha! Not only that, but she's increased web hits, downloads, and overall Janet Jackson awareness! Still think this wasn't intentional? You're a dumb ass.
I had to laugh at the NFL's response to the bare breast:
"We were extremely disappointed by elements of the MTV-produced halftime show," said NFL Executive Vice President Joe Browne. "They were totally inconsistent with assurances our office was given about the content of the show," he added. "It's unlikely that MTV will produce another Super Bowl halftime."
This morning, NFL commissioner Paul Tagliabue added the following statement:
"(the conduct was) offensive, embarrassing to us and our fans, and inappropriate... We will change our policies, our people and our processes before the next Super Bowl to ensure that this entertainment is far more effectively dealt with."
Right. No offense to the NFL, but when you choose to book Kid Rock, Janet Jackson, Justin Timberlake, Nelly and P. Diddy to be in your halftime show, you HAVE TO KNOW what you're getting into. For cryin' out loud, the last line of Timberlake's sing is "I'm gonna have you naked by the end of this song." Not to mention the fact that Nelly isn't exactly a beacon of public speaking. Don't pass the buck, NFL--we all know MTV screwed up, CBS screwed up, but you screwed up, too. Take your lumps.
Now, don't get me wrong. I'm by no means a prude. Like any other healthy, straight American male, I don't mind ogling at Janet Jackson's bare breasts. However, there is a time and place for everything. The Superbowl is a game watched by everyone--kids, grandmothers, men, women--everyone. I realize there are people out there who want to "stir the cauldron" of the status quo out there, and who love convtroversy, but anyone who thinks that this was the right thing to do during an internationally aired show watched by every human on the planet needs to really have their head examined.
Oh well, here's hoping CBS, the NFL and the recording industry get what they wanted out of this completely planned nipple exposure. I'm proud to say I won't be watching the Grammies, or next year's halftime show.
Oh yea, in case you forgot, CBS is the same network that wouldn't air the legitimate ad bashing George Bush and his fiscal idiocy. Good to see they have their priorities straight.
Seriousness aside, if you'd like to see more about the nipple in question, visit the site "spybabe.net" They may still have some stills and a link to the video clip. But be warned--that site has adult content.
