The AP has reported that the mental deficient who ran onto the field during a Steelers-Browns game on December 24th has been sentenced to spend Superbowl weekend in prison. Nathan Mallett, 24, has also been ordered not to attend any Browns games for 5 years, and he must complete 150 hours of community service.
Apparently, Mr. Mallett was "remorseful" for his acts: He claimed he raced onto the field because he was "upset by Pittsburgh's 41-0 win over the Browns." For those who don't recall the event, Mallett was stopped, slammed and subsequently detained by Steelers' Linebacker James Harrison until the Police came to collect him on the field (props, Mr. Harrison).
Sure, the sentence handed down was probably the right choice for this offense, but a much harsher penalty would have been welcome and refreshing. Honestly, it's about time guys like these were treated like the wastes of air that they are. We see them everywhere--not just stadiums: The dopes that sit really far back when they drive their overcompensatory cars, think body shots are "high class," yell into their two-way phones, say the words "fuckin' a," and "son" too often, and think that every girl that rejects them is a lesbian. How many times have you been at a bar when one of these slobs invades your personal space without as much as an "excuse me" to order his "Stoli O" or "Red Bull and Vodka?" Too often, I'm sure.
To be quite honest, one has to assume this genius' skull is so thick that he probably won't blink an eye at this punishment, and he'll be back to his everyday asshole act within days. In fact, he'll wear it like a badge of honor and laugh about it at next year's superbowl party as he downs buffalo wings and thinks of new ways to detail his car. Society would have been better served to incarcerate this guy for at least a few months, so that he could pee his pants every single day, reconsidering his life choices as he awaited his nightly "date" with his cheerful cellmate. Harsh? Maybe--but sometimes it seems as though people like this have done more to set civilization back than your average car thief.
Who knows? Maybe he'll prove us all wrong by cleaning up his act, getting off the steroids, ditching the alcohol, and finally getting that high school diploma. We won't be holding our breath, though.
