News From Bizzarro World

In a story that could only come from The National Enquirer Online, the world now has rock-solid proof that Michael Jackson has been wrongfully accused: "Jacqueline Stallone, Sylvester’s mom, is a well known psychic who predicted that Arnold Schwarzenegger would win election as Governor of California. Now Jacqueline says that Michael Jackson is innocent and will be vindicated." Wow! I guess we can all rest easier tonight knowing that the Nostradamus of our time has given MJ the thumbs up. What planet are we on, by the way? Is this still Earth? Editor's Note: After much deliberation, I decided against posting a picture of Jackie Stallone. Those of you looking to induce vomiting may feel free to re-visit the posting regarding Liza Minelli and David Gest that appeared on October 23rd of this year.